Over Stuffed

Hello friends out in the internet land! I know I haven't posted in awhile but there hasn't been too much to share. Thanksgiving was sad and good at the same time. It was sad because Chris had to work a 24 hour shift, but it was good that I got to go down to his work and eat with him...and then to Chanings house to eat! It was awesome!!!!! Then I came home and lounged around on the couch and watched a bunch of random television until I was ready to pass out. I went to the heart doctor recently, but it was the worst establishment I've ever seen. The office at first glance reminded you of some back door office where you go to get like prescriptions for illegal stuff? I'm just guessing. And then the equipment was very old....like form the 70's. I was there from 2pm to 5:30pm and still wasn't even finished with the appointment. This appointment should have taken about an hour/hour and a half tops. When I was finally put onto the treadmill to do the stress test...which wasn't even a real stress test...the equipment was so old that the leads were malfunctioning so he kept pressing them hard into my chest...over and over and over again. It was almost traumatizing...if I didn't know how it was really supposed to be.

The back doctor had to reschedule and since I had so much going on, we rescheduled for Dec 19th. Although I'm really hoping that my sister comes through for me and manages to score me plane ticket to SC to spend Christmas with her and the kids. But then again I'm also really hoping that this surgery is going to be successful and we will be blessed with a Christmas Miracle! <3

Happy Birthday To Chris

Yesterday was my sweet husbands birthday! I felt really bad that I couldn't afford to buy him the gift he REALLY wanted since it was over $200 and that money just doesn't appear out of thin air. So instead, him being the sweetheart that he is he finally let me buy him his new video game. He also took his old games to trade in, and I sent some of mine to go with him. I have to make this up to him somehow though because we knew the cost of the box set was high (Sully Erna Avalon) but it was supposed to be a combined Anniversary and Birthday gift. :( My anniversary gift FINALLY arrived yesterday too. I absolutely love my new hoodie esp since it's getting cold outside.

We did go out to Olive Garden to eat before seeing Breaking Dawn Part 2! He enjoyed himself at dinner considering he REALLLLLY didn't want to see the movie. But with us living 1 1/2 hours from the theater he didn't have much of a choice. So he napped through parts of the movie but was glued to the edge of his seat near the end. (I'm not giving ANYTHING away about the movie) The ride there and the ride home was amazing b/c a really good friend of ours went with us...and she started asking questions about infertility, my drs appointments, what it's like to go through it. Which  #1 for someone who is from another country this is all new to her and #2 she's never tried for a baby yet. So it was kind of hard to explain at first but I think she understood at my final description. For those of you reading who DO follow Twilight, I believe it was in the 2nd movie when Rosalie confesses to Bella about her not wanting the vampire life for her and she's jealous b/c she is human. She expresses that she didn't want to be a vampire b/c she wanted to be a mother. Then fast forward to movie number 3 and Bella is pregnant with Edwards baby. Rosalie takes over this mother mode...and in this movie you see her playing with Reneesme...and I cried. I felt that was me...stuck in this frozen world feeling like I will never be a mother.

Petition!

So tonight I was snooping around the internet as usual...and found a place to write a petition and submit it. So I wrote one about the military covering IVF/IUI. There actually is a bill trying to pass right now in the Army that they are going to cover sex change operations because it's discrimination. So why not cover IVF/IUI too?!?!?! Now is the time for change! Now is the time to make a difference for our future. I really hope that I can get enough signatures so that maybe someday those of us who are military spouses will be fully covered so that we can create our family that we want so badly. If you're reading this...please go sign the petition.

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/allow-military-fully-cover-ivfiui-treatments-infertility/Vr4bxKl3

I love my doctor!

That's exactly how I feel while writing this blog. I am overwhelmed with true emotion toward my new OB. I cannot believe that after years of fighting, praying, begging, crying, and just plain dealing with doctors that have treated me like I am unimportant...I have finally found the right doctor! Yesterday I received a call from my insurance company telling me that my referral was ready. I wasn't sure what she meant...and my OBGYN wrote me a referral to see a new heart specialist. (I also have a heart disease that I was born with) That's true compassion right there to worry about something that isn't even his specialty!!!! I don't think I could be happier! I see the heart dr on the 20th, the back dr on the 21st, and then surgery on the 6th! BUSY BUSY BUSY!


Also while you are here reading you should hop over to Clomid and Cabernet and show here some love as she interviewed me to help get the word out about infertility and the military!

Thank you Margot!!!!

So after the unacceptable events tonight of the restaurant that just opened here on post...that I randomly decided that I wanted to try their Shepards Pie...and it took over an hour and a half to get...I log into my email to see a GoFundMe email!!!! Margot donated to our IVF!!!!! I couldn't possibly express how thankful I am to have people like her in my life, although I've never met her. She's such a wonderful and giving woman and a blessing to all! I don't know what goes on in her life but for someone to donate to someone they don't even know...that's someone who is doing great things with her life. When I was younger I was a very selfish person. I wouldn't have donated to someone I didn't know at all. Now as I've seen the struggle of others...and struggled myself, I feel the compassion and desire to give back as much as I can. I know that whoever I choose to donate my last dollars to truly appreciates that and in times like this when I'm asking for help to make our dreams come true....the favor is returned! God Bless You Margot! You are a shining light for our future!

BBC New Report

So I want to share with you a news report that caught my eye. This is a big fear for me as I have already worried about my egg supply that I feel is dwindling. I'm not sure what a "LATE" age is to go into menopause but my mother, I feel, went into menopause at a young age. Well as it actually says in the report that early is 45 and below...and late is 55 and up. Well my mother started menopause WELL before 45...and that scares me. I'm sitting here in all my 27 year old glory dreading March where I will turn 28...one step closer to 30. Which in my research has suggested that I have already gone through half of my egg supply. Pretty SCARY huh!? Are you feeling the squeeze too?

Here is the article

BBC NEWS-Fertility predicted by mothers age at menopause

GOOD NEWS and Promise

Today was my dr's appointment!!!! It went super well, actually better than I had hoped. My new dr is amazing! He's into the facts...he wants all the information...no guesswork. He's showed me more concern about all of my health issues today than I have gotten in 27 years of my life. He was giving me advice on the things I need to know about my heart disease and my back! He was worried about both of those too and instructed me to get them checked out. He also is trying to save me money by going ahead and doing a Lap & Dye instead of just throwing me to the fertility specialist costs. He wants me to be fully educated on all my options...even the hidden ones. He also wants to help me to achieve pregnancy at the lowest cost possible (mental, physical, and financial)

So with that being said I promised myself and God that IF I could get some headway...that I would not whine and complain anymore. And I'm going to hold to that! I actually shocked the dr...he was sitting there explaining to me the risks of surgery...the usual (ya know like 50/50 of waking up, things that could go wrong, ect) and I just sat there with a huge smile on my face. He stops and asks why I'm not concerned about these things...as they are very important to know. I explain to him that I've been put under completely 4 times...you get scared to death the first time, 2nd time you're uneasy, by the 3rd time...YOU GOT THIS! hahah I'm not worried about any of that stuff at all. My only concern is...what if he gets in there...and there is still no valid explanation! BUT we will cross that bridge when we come to it!

I absolutely cannot wait!!!!!!!!!!!