Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Late Night

So I'm not usually up this late but I've had so much on my mind lately that I forgot that the sheets needed to be washed. So now I'm waiting on the dryer to knock off so I can put the sheets in. I've been sitting here the majority of the evening playing wow and escaping my own emotions. I have cried pretty much all day today. With truth and an audience comes emotional wellness. First off I have the fact that I'm missing my best friends right now, second the double bad news from Walter Reed and San Diego, third I got a little butt hurt by some Scentsy consultants, and fourth I'm home alone currently...so it's easier to trigger the tears. I'm really really happy though that both of my dogs are feeling better than they did two days ago. They do seem to make the void a little less painful sometimes. Sadie placed her head on my chest this afternoon during snuggle time and I looked at her and was so thankful she loves me so much! Shaddix attacked me when I came home from visiting Chris at work and wanted to snuggle in my arms like a baby until he fell asleep....and also put my arm to sleep! I just keep thinking how amazing a moment like that would be to have my baby laying on my chest sleeping. When I close my eyes real tight and imagine that my heart soars! Why do I keep doing this to myself? I know, I know....just a couple more days til my dr's appointment. I'm just nervous that he's going to treat me the same way.

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