Friday, September 30, 2011

Wonderful News

So today I do the usual routine...wake up, BBT, lay in bed for about 10 mins until Sadie and Shaddix beg to go out to potty, take them out, bathroom for me, OPK stick, and then at 12:45 CBFM. So the OPK barely showed a line...the same thing I've been getting since CD6. BUT the CBFM gave me a high fertility hit. So I'm thinking that this whole time the OPK's and my calender have been lying to me and that could explain the fact that I haven't gotten pregnant. Ya know all except the closed tubes and all. Now that I'm making good progress all I need is my husband to come home.

On a very sad note, a couple of days ago the terrorists found the base where my husband is stationed and bombed it. He was in the helicopter and far away when it happened. But some people weren't so lucky. There were lives lost and people hurt. And tonight I found out that one of his fellow soldiers in a different company passed away. My heart breaks for that family although at the same time I have a little bit of relief that it wasn't my husband. BUT it could have been. I just pray that in this time of sadness they can find peace knowing that their soldier was a hero.

Everyone please say a quick prayer for those lives lost in this war and their families that have to go on with a hole in their hearts. And also pray for the ones that continue this no win war. :(

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Testing practice at it's finest

Yesterday and Today I finally was able to give my CBFM a shot and it's working properly. I'm just hoping that everything is right on schedule so that when Chris finally gets home we can start trying right away. Although yesterday was a very stressful day for the both of us. More him than me...but he got online to talk to me as he usually does and there had been some stuff happen over there and I'm just thankful to know he's ok. I can't talk about what happened at the moment but stay tuned I will eventually. I just want all my soldier friends over there to be ok. So if you're reading this please pray for them. I do know for sure my husband is going to come back a different person. And I've already got plans for us to work on that with professionals and that way we can communicate easier.

As for the testing yesterday the OPK's had a very faint line!! O.o STRANGE but oh well. As for the monitor it showed me on a low day both days. Which is what is should be showing right now. I cannot wait until I can start blogging better with all the updates instead of the same old stuff every day. I really hope someone is reading this. It would be nice to have someone to talk to.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Packages In The Mail

I'm so excited! I got my Clear Blue Fertility Monitor today in the mail and my test strips. So I can start testing tomorrow morning no problem! I'm very excited so that it will go ahead and start storing my information so that next month when Chris gets home we can get down to the biz! HAHA I really feel that this time is FINALLY going to be the time. IF the darling Army will allow us to be around each other during my fertile windows. >.< They are a big old pain in the ass sometimes. But oh well I guess, I knew what was going on when I married him.

On another note, took my little man Shaddix(my beagle) to the vet today since I do believe he had a seizure on Saturday. And she said that she thinks that I might be correct, but the only way to find out for sure is to take him to Buffalo NY and have a cat scan done by a specialist and it's probably going to cost around 3 grand. Which I currently do not have. And I'm not sure what I'm going to do. She said he may never have another one, or then again it could get worse. Who knows? But if he goes on medication he'll have to be on it for life. It's very harsh on their liver and I don't want to take the risk of him dying because he missed a dose of medication. I'm scared and at the same time I do not want him to suffer. So if he gets bad off then I will have to make a decision. But I will be paying close attention to him. He's my baby! Sadie (lab) is my little pooh bear and she's stressed out about her brother. She hovers over him although she's way younger than him. He's almost 5 and she's 3. But she loves him very much and she freaked out when I took him to the vet today. Sydney was watching her and said she paced back and forth from the window to the door just crying up a storm. :( My babies!

Sunday, September 25, 2011


I'm sitting here on the couch and of course doing the same thing I do every day and night. I'm obsessing over getting pregnant. During this moment I'm in the middle of AF and my clearblue fertility monitor should be here I'm REALLY hoping tomorrow in the mail along with my test sticks. If not I'm assuming I'll have to wait til October to start testing with it. I've gotten a lot more inspiration with all the positive stories I've read about people using it. I'm just dying for Chris to get home and to be able to wrap my arms around him and know that we're going to start trying again. Although at this moment in time I'm not exactly sure when we'll get to really start trying. I found out today that his orders to PCS to California have been dropped and we will be staying in New York. I was kind of excited and now I have to start looking into housing again as there isn't much time. And I also found out that once he gets home he will be turning around and leaving again for a few weeks. How is this fair? He's been gone for a year and then you're only going to give me a couple of days with him before he has to leave again?! I know I shouldn't complain, at least he's coming home right? It just sucks that I've waited patiently all this time to start working on our family again and now it's being postponed a little while longer. I know they do not care at all about how I feel. I'm just anxious to make our dreams come true. I've known my whole life I've wanted to be a mother. I am dying inside as the months go by and I don't get to see that extra line on the test. I just want to feel that baby growing inside of me, knowing that I'm finally able to provide for someone and love someone so much. I know I'm selfish wanting to bring a baby into this world but that's what God put me on this earth to do right? Reproduce!

Friday, September 23, 2011

Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor

Today I decided that I was going to go for it and score a Clear Blue Fertility Monitor on Ebay. I got it for less than $100. I'm pretty excited about that. And if it ships as fast as the seller said they would and the test sticks hurry from Amazon then I'll be good to go on the practice testing by the time Aunt Flow ends this month. I'm very excited that this might be our chance to finally have a baby. I truly don't care what the sex of the baby is or even how many babies are in there. I just want to see those lines and know that there is a beautiful little life growing inside my body. Someone who needs me and loves me back just as much as I love the little one. But as for now it's time to go cuddle up with my doggies Sadie and Shaddix and get some rest. Only 26 more days until my hubby gets home. <3

Thursday, September 22, 2011

The Beginning

Our story finds up doing a 4 year catch up. Chris and I were married on October 20th 2007. Since day one we have been trying to have our first child. He's in the Army so that doesn't give us a very good time window to even begin to try. Our first year of marriage was a very rocky one. After about 5 months in things started to take a turn for the worse with us. That continued until he deployed that October. So after one year of being gone he came home again in October of 2009.

Once he got home we started trying to make our dreams for a family come true. And once I finally was able to get my doctor to pay attention to me I was referred to a specialist. From there I had my first HSG and found out the worst news ever, my tubes were completely closed. So for 2 months I waited on him to pull his head out of his butt and do my surgery. So in October of 2010 I went in for surgery and they said that my tubes were opened successfully. Unfortunately Chris was sent our for yet another year long deployment which is FINALLY almost over.

We did get two days to try to get prego right before he deployed. In the midst of him leaving again, and me packing up to move from NY to TN (16 hour drive) with two dogs trapped inside of a giant penske truck, hauling my car behind it, and in the freezing cold. I completely lost track of time and I also assumed that my aunt flo wasn't going to show up on time due to the surgery. I arrive in TN and start unloading the truck and a little chaos breaks out as usual. As I'm trying to control the situation and get things back in order I feel this strange sensation (lucky for me I thought I had started my period and had already put on a pad because I was LIGHTLY spotting) that felt like the most uncomfortable passing of something I've ever felt. I then headed for the rest room and realized I had passed a blood clot the size of I guess an...oreo. For lack of better comparison. It was thick and strange looking. So I can only assume that I had just had a miscarriage. Although I never went to the dr after that because I truly didn't want to know.

Now that deployment is almost over and I've shared with you quite a bit of TMI! I'll share with you the excitement of preparing the wonderful preconception kit that I'm making for when Chris gets home. As of this moment I have enough OPK's to last about 4 months, about 30 internet cheapie Pregnancy Tests, I'm giving softcups a shot, Pre Seed Lube to add that little umph to the swimmers, I'm charting Basil Body Temp, keeping track of my cycles of course, a lot of baby dust, and I'm hoping to add a Clear Blue Fertility Monitor to my collection. I've had 3 psychic readings saying that they see June as my delivery time which means that I would have to get pregnant in October and maybe end up delivering a few weeks early. And one psychic saying that she saw Sept and March in my future although didn't say what year. *facepalm*

And last but not least, I've got a ton of ambition and hope. I've already picked out the things I want for a nursery and all of the other needs for baby. The only thing I'm missing.....