Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Rough Day #2

Good evening readers! I've finally found some energy for the first time today. I was supposed to film the video for the conference but I didn't get out of bed until 2pm today. Last night my incision site was burning pretty bad, when I looked at it my skin around the incision site was red and streaky....almost starting to blister. So thankfully Chris works with medics so we went down to his work to change the dressing. Today it's not too bad, just a little on the sensitive side around the skin. I know I'm starting to heal internally because I'm aching more today. On top of it all I'm feeling like I'm getting sick...the weather did change drastically here the past couple of days. But I will survive! Chris has been so great taking care of me...almost to the point I've had to ask him to stop a little haha! I did make my own lunch today, ate it before he sat down, and then he realized the mayo was bad. HAHA I don't think it's going to make either of us sick but thank goodness neither of us had a lot! I'm sorry if I seem to be rambling, that's usually just how I am. :) We have been watching Dexter on demand this whole time, so it's been nice to snuggle when we can and watch tv together. The more I sit here though, the more I think about the future. I become more and more depressed at the fact that I'm dysfunctional. I do know for sure therapy will be in my future. I don't want to get into a sad, dark place. I want to stay my normal self and continue to be proactive. I am really looking forward to speaking at this conference so that I might have the chance to help change someone else' life. There are a lot of women out there like me who hurt like me, who cry like me, who needs someone to talk to like me. I want to be that rock and shoulder. I want to be their cheerleader and be there when they finally achieve their dream. I want to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. I will continue to pray for each and every person I come in contact with. I love each and every one of you and if you're reading this and feel like you need someone to talk to. I'm right here and I'm a very good listener. <3 Bless you

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