Thursday, December 6, 2012

Really Late Update

I am so sorry I haven't updated in awhile. Here is the happening...

So I did get my dates confused and today (the 6th) was actually my pre op and Monday (the 10th) was surgery. I have to say was b/c it has been postponed since I didn't get to finish my echo and bring the paperwork to them (in my defense I didn't know that they needed it as I wasn't even told about the referral by them). My doctor did upset me today because he told me that due to my heart disease that they generally ask the patient if they become pregnant to terminate the baby, and I was given a counseling on that. Something about that didn't feel right as I was told my whole life that I didn't have any limitations and that it wouldn't effect my life. Yes there is a chance that I could have a heart attack but that is slim to none and things happen right? Everyone has a risk to have a heat attack, right? I'm not worried about it and I feel they shouldn't be but I know they have my best interest in mind.

We have had a beyond stressful week. A friend of ours in the hospital, we almost lost him. That's as much as I can say. Thank God he's alive and doing well! <3 I'm really hoping that they call tomorrow, or very soon to tell me when my surgery is rescheduled for. My poor sister balled her eyes out to me today. She feels like she made me a promise (which is a VERY big deal to her...she does not make promises she can't keep) and that she broke that promise because she had to have an emergency hysterectomy a couple of years ago. She promised me many years before that she would be my surrogate. I feel horrible that she feels guilty. I told her this is not her fault and that even if she was able to surrogate for me we couldn't afford it. I have been trying to explain to her all the costs and everything involved in surrogacy.

But tonight I was watching a show called Taboo and they were drinking blended up frogs and many other things to get pregnant. (it's good for many other things too but this was just about infertility) and they said in the show that Maca was probably the reason they were successful in getting pregnant. So I asked Chris if he would consider trying it with me and bing, bang, boom....we ordered it on Amazon. Thank goodness it was pretty cheap too. I think this will be the final attempt at in home infertility treatments as I cannot take anymore anxiety and stress. I'm still trying to keep my head up and my heart set. It's just hard not to get discouraged esp around the holidays. I will be spending the whole day of the 21st with my best friend Chaning's kiddos! I'm sooooo excited about it! Chaning and her hubby are going on a "date day" aka (Christmas Shopping) so the kids and I are going to be making some arts and crafts, then rice crispy treats, renting Ice Age 4, and popping pop corn!!!!! It's going to be so much fun! The kids may be a little crazy and of course stubborn little kids but I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!

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